


I'm Sorry, Master Bruce, But Your Rubber Ducky is in Another Bathtub

by spoilers



Category: Justice League & Justice League Unlimited (Cartoons)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-22
Updated: 2012-12-22
Packaged: 2017-11-22 00:45:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/603952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spoilers/pseuds/spoilers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Most of the League members have this expectation of privacy while bathing. Batman doesn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Sorry, Master Bruce, But Your Rubber Ducky is in Another Bathtub

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rapacityinblue](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rapacityinblue/gifts).



It’d been a long mission, and Clark headed for a bath as soon as they got back on the ship. Back in Smallville, they had an old, huge bathtub, and after a long day he used to climb in and soak for as long as he could get away with. The ship wasn’t really that different, just that “as long as he could get away with” was a lot less often. Ma had even given him a rubber ducky to match the one at home.

He had only just climbed into the tub when he heard another heartbeat enter the room. Huh. Well, he knew that heartbeat, but he had no idea what it was doing in his bathroom.

“Bruce?” he asked, politely but confused. Bruce didn’t respond for a second, not that he expected him to. When he did, he just held out a loofah.

“…Thanks,” Clark said, taking it and trying to figure out what was going on. Bruce was still in the cowl, and didn’t look tired at all, though Clark knew he had to be.

But Bruce just said “Wash up,” and then he walked out like this was all perfectly normal (and come to think of it, it might actually be normal for Bruce; he’d have to ask Alfred). Clark looked at his rubber ducky and shrugged before grabbing the soap.

***

John never really got out of the habit of showering quickly from the Marines. It shouldn’t take anyone that long to get cleaned up, and considering they were on a spaceship, you’d think there’d be more concerns about conserving water. Besides, they were here for a reason, and the less time everyone spent washing off one battle was more time to fight the next one.

He kept his ring nearby for that very reason. The last thing he needed was to get caught in an emergency with his powers sitting on the desk in his bunk. The steam from the shower certainly wasn’t going to hurt it.

He turned off the water and reached out to grab his towel. His hand hit it much faster than it should have, and he threw open the curtain to find Batman standing there and offering him his own towel.

“What the— what’s going on?” he asked, snatching the towel away. There weren’t any alarms going off, no reason for anyone to come and interrupt him, and even if there were, waiting for him to finish was just stupid.

“Just checking in,” Batman said, and John shot him the most incredulous look before grabbing his ring off the sink.

“Are you out of your damn mind?” he grumbled, punctuating it with a solid green rectangle designed to push Batman out the door, but he had already disappeared by the time John turned around.

Maybe he should consider showering with the ring on.

***

She missed the baths of Themyscira, with their warm waters and beautiful sights. The long row of showers mounted on the wall in the Watchtower were a far cry from the pools and columns, but one thing, at least, was the same. In Themyscira, she and her sisters would bathe and bond; she found there was a culture similar to that here, a camaraderie in the locker room after a fight or training.

The men were stubborn about keeping themselves apart, though, which at first left just her and Shayera, and she wasn’t very good company back then. With the expanded League, there were enough people to make her feel nostalgic, at least in this.

Their mission today had been a small one, though, with just the founding members, and it was only her and Shayera in the locker rooms. They weren’t quite friends— Diana wasn’t sure they’d ever be, not after what had happened— but it was enough to be polite and work together, to change in the same room without the silence being too uncomfortable.

Enough that when Diana heard the clatter of a mace picked up from a locker, she didn’t think it was a threat against her personally.

“What are you doing in here?” Shayera was yelling, glaring at Batman with nothing but a towel and her weapon. Batman just stared back, and Diana could see Shayera shift, ready to swing to swat him off.

“I’m sorry, did you want to join in, Bruce?” she asked, feigning innocence, interceding before Shayera could wreck the bathroom. His head turned minutely towards her before he abruptly turned around and left, cape disappearing around the corner.

“ _Men,_ ” Shayera scoffed, and Diana found herself agreeing.

***

In the event of an emergency, Wally could lather, rinse, repeat in less than a second, dry himself off before the last drops of water hit the drain, and be out the door ready to fight criminals and save the world once again. When it _wasn’t_ an emergency, Wally took his own sweet time in the shower, thank you very much.

He whistled as he washed the last suds out of his hair, relaxing under the stream of hot water. He didn’t hear the door open or close, but all of a sudden he was aware of a presence in the room, and when he looked up he saw a shadow through the curtain.

“Sorry, ocupado!” he called out. The shadow didn’t move, so he peeked his head out the curtain and found himself staring directly at Batman’s cowl.

Quick as a, well, flash, he grabbed the towel off the wall and held it tight around his waist. The possibility of Batman having see-through shower curtain vision was a little too high to risk it. “Uh, hi, can I help you?” he asked, because if this was an emergency, Batman should be barking orders and probably running around instead of standing there like a statue.

Wally was about to reach out and touch him to see if he _was_ a statue when Batman finally spoke. “You didn’t wash behind your ears.”

“…Right. Thanks, I’ll… get right on it,” Wally said, yanking the curtain closed. He waited until he felt alone again to mutter under his breath. “Creeper.”

“I heard that.”

Of course he did.

***

J’onn knew it was Batman coming in, so he didn’t have to look up from his typing.

“I’m no longer picking up the signs of our visitors,” he said, as Batman took the chair next to him. “I trust you checked the others?”

Batman took the portable scanner out of his belt and put it on the desk. J’onn synced it to the computer and started reading over the data.

“All of the members of the League who were exposed are currently showing no signs of alien life forms,” Batman was saying, which made J’onn give him a curious look. “Aside from the ones who are always showing signs of alien life forms.”

J’onn displayed the monitor for him. “I’ve identified it as a relative of the Star Conquerors. It’s not as powerful on its own, but given the time and resources to multiply, it could have successfully taken over.”

"Then it's a good thing it washes off in the bath," Batman said, in that strange tone of voice where J'onn wasn't sure if he was making a joke or not. “I’ll develop a vaccine to make sure we’re all immune for the future.”

J’onn nodded, and returned to his work, though he couldn’t help but wonder…

“Is there a reason you didn’t tell them what you were looking for?” he asked politely.

He could have sworn he saw Batman smile.


End file.
